Emma Lou and the Orphan's Gold

A song in the style of Lorne Green that tells a story and tries to explain conflict structure at the same time.

Emma Lou and the Orphan’s Gold

A little ditty I whipped up awhile back as a teaching tool, elucidating the Five Commandments of Storytelling. (Lyrics by me, Music by the machines of Suno.com)

[Intro]
Now, here’s a story that’s seldom been told,
about brave Emma Lou and the orphan’s gold.
We’ll see the five commandments play out strong
and figure who wants what and who wins this song

[verse 1]
Rattlin’ down that rocky mountain road
A stagecoach haulin’ through a heavy load
With Eight orphan children, wide-eyed and small,
And gold in the boot meant to feed ’em all.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

At the reins sat Emma Lou, grit in her jaw
Her eyes sharp ‘n wary of all she saw
That gold was pledged to a mission in need,
For new shoes, warm beds, and mouths to feed.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

Black Bart stepped into the road. His rifle flashed.
A shot cracked a wheel and the stagecoach crashed.  
The horses reared, screamed, then galloped away.  
Emma Lou leaped up with her rifle aimed.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

Black Bart strolled up, cocked his head just right,  
“Just give me the gold, girl, don’t give me a fight.”
And that right there’s our inciting incident.
Where wants collide and the stakes get bent.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

[chorus][backing singers]
Emma Lou, whatcha gonna do with that gold?
Black Bart wants it and he’ll leave you cold.
Do you hand it all over or stand your ground?
Can you keep those children safe and sound?

[verse 2]
Well, Black Bart, he’s the antagonist of our tale,
He wants to take that gold without fuss or fail.
Emma Lou’s our protagonist, and in her head
She wants to keep the gold without any bloodshed.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

Black Bart’s gonna give her complications
each of them escalates the situation
The kids started crying, still trapped inside
Bart gave them a glance and smiled big and wide.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

“You make me shoot, I’ll hit those kids” He spit.
“You won’t get the chance,” she growled, “Now git.”
A crack as hooves raced down the canyon wide.
Four more riders there at the mountainside.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

“You got the high ground,” Bart nodded slow,
“But we got numbers, and that’s how it’ll go.”
And this right here makes our heroine stall 
The turning point where she can’t have it all
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

[chorus][backing singers]
Emma Lou, whatcha gonna do with that gold?
Black Bart wants it and he’ll leave you cold.
Do you hand it all over or stand your ground?
Can you keep those children safe and sound?

[bridge]
Now every scene, if it’s told just right,  
Should turn on a choice and end in a fight.  
Not fists and fire, but values in play,  
Where someone gives somethin’ important away.

A scene ain’t just what the people say.  
It’s what they want, and what’s in their way.  
So ask yourself each time you write:  
Who wins, who loses, and why that fight?

[verse]
Now Emma Lou stood with her boots dug deep,
Eyes on the kids, who’d begun to weep.
Behind her Bart’s men fanned out and grew bold.
In front of her: orphans, a mission, and gold.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

She could shoot it out and most likely die,
Or give up the gold, and let her honor lie.
That’s Emma Lou’s crisis: two paths, both steep.
To give him the gold or to bury ‘em deep.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

She held fast the rifle, eased off to the boot.
She lifted the tarp and took hold of the loot.
With a grunt, she hurled that heavy old sack,
It hit the dirt with a tinkle and a crack.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

That right there’s Emma Lou’s climax action.  
A hard choice gives the reader satisfaction
Will Black Bart keep up his end of the bargain?
Leave them alone and ride back up the mountain
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

[chorus][backing singers]
Emma Lou, whatcha gonna do with that gold?
Black Bart wants it and he’ll leave you cold.
Do you hand it all over or stand your ground?
Can you keep those children safe and sound?

[outro]
“Leave ‘em your water, boys. It’s whiskey tonight.”
They left five skins and rode straight out of sight.
And that’s our resolution, plain and dry.
Bart got the gold, no need to lie.
So who won the scene, you surely ask?
Bart took the prize and dodged the task.
Emma Lou lost. But saved all of their lives,
And sometimes that’s how a hero survives.
(ooh-ooh-ooh)

Emma Lou, whatcha gonna do with that gold?
Black Bart wants it and he’ll leave you cold.
Do you hand it all over or stand your ground?
Can you keep those children safe and sound?

[end]

Editor’s Ten Question Protocol

1. Who is the antagonist?

Black Bart

2. Who is the protagonist?

Emma Lou

3. What does the antagonist want?

The gold in the stagecoach

4. What is the Inciting Incident of antagonistic demand on the protagonist?

Black Bart attacks the stagecoach

5. What does the protagonist want?

To keep the gold without harming the children

6. What is the Turning Point?

Black Bart’s posse arrives (New Method: “You won’t get the chance,” she growled, “Now git.”)

7. What is the Crisis?

Give Black Bart the gold to prevent a shootout that could harm the children, or keep the gold and risk their lives in a gunfight?

8. What is the Climax action the protagonist takes?

Emma Lou gives Black Bart the gold.

9. What is the Resolution, how does the antagonist respond the the protagonist climactic action?

Black Bart and his posse leave water behind.

10. Who won the scene?

Black Bart